Love or Lust 3 Read online

  Contents

  About the Author

  Also by Rachael Brownell

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Chapter 12

  Chapter 13

  Chapter 14

  Epilogue

  About the Author

  Also by Rachael Brownell

  About the Author

  Rachael Brownell is an award-winning author of young-adult and new-adult romance. She resides in the midwest with her husband and son. To learn more about Rachael and her books, follow her on social media, join her reader group on Facebook, Brownell’s Book Lovers, or sign up for her monthly newsletter.

  For more information…

  www.AuthorRachaelBrownell.com

  [email protected]

  Also by Rachael Brownell

  Friends-to-lovers Romance…

  For All The Wrong Reasons

  For All The Right Reasons

  Worth The Fight

  Chasing Fate

  * * *

  Second-chance Romance…

  Half Truths

  Always in My Heart

  A Million Little Reasons

  Imperfect Love Story

  Imperfect Love Story: New Beginnings

  Sticks & Stones

  * * *

  Dark, gritty, sexy Romance…

  Dark Bishop

  Caught in the Storm

  Surviving the Storm

  * * *

  Office Romance…

  Damaging Rumors

  Devious Rumors

  Delicate Rumors

  Deserving Rumors

  Devastating Rumors

  Defensive Rumors

  * * *

  Romantic Comedy…

  Dating Dilemma

  * * *

  Young-adult Romance…

  Holding On

  Unglued

  Weakness

  Flawed Reality

  Take A Gamble

  Snapshot

  Chapter One

  Day 30

  From twelve to six.

  Half gone.

  Voted off by those who remain.

  Including myself.

  Even waking up in Jace’s warm embrace doesn’t make me feel better about being a part of it all. About ranking the guys. Knowing one of them always has to be last.

  This past week, that person was Drake. Not because I didn’t like him. Not because I didn’t think he deserves to be here. It was a toss-up between him and Milo, and I’d voted Milo the week before. I wanted to play fair and thought that I was.

  Now I just feel guilty.

  Drake is gone. I’m part of the reason why.

  I’ve been going over the math and still can’t figure out how, though.

  It needs to be a majority vote. I guarantee Lennon and Jace were at the bottom of the list for both Teegan and Courtney. They wanted one of them to leave. They were hell-bent on destroying me any way they could.

  Especially Courtney.

  Which is why she’s now gone.

  Of all the people who have been sent home, Gage included, Courtney is the one I feel the least sorry for. Yes, Gage was an asshole. Rude with an explosive temper and no filter. Maybe he would have changed if he’d had the chance to stay a little longer. Maybe we would have gotten along.

  I’ll never know because he wasn’t here long enough for us to get to know each other.

  Courtney, on the other hand, had plenty of time to show her true colors.

  “You’re beautiful in the morning, even when you look sad,” Jace says as he tightens his hold around my waist. He always manages to find a way to make me smile in the morning. “What’s on your mind?”

  “Drake,” I confess, knowing he won’t take it the wrong way.

  “Don’t blame yourself. I think he was ready to go home anyway.”

  “What makes you think that?”

  “He may have mentioned something about needing to take care of some unfinished business yesterday. Maybe I misinterpreted his words, but I think he either knew he was going home or that’s what he wanted.”

  “Yeah, maybe.” The uncertainty in my voice rings loud and clear.

  “I would have thought you’d be happy I was still here.”

  “Don’t get me wrong, I am happy about that, I just feel bad that people I like are getting voted off. It sucks. We’re all having fun, and I like almost everyone. I get it’s part of the game, but that doesn’t make it any easier.”

  Kissing the side of my neck, Jace doesn’t try and argue with me. He knows there’s no point because this game is only going to get harder. More people are going to be sent home. Maybe me. Maybe him.

  Not wanting to think about the fact one of us might not be here in a week, I roll toward Jace and press my lips to his. All I wanted last night was for him to hold me. After seeing the clips they put together of the two of us, of our growing relationship, I felt the panic rising in my chest. I was close to having a breakdown, and time alone with him would be the only thing that would calm me.

  Because it meant he was still here.

  It meant he still wanted to be with me, even after the world found out.

  That he wasn’t ashamed of our relationship.

  A concern I hadn’t realized I was harboring.

  Now that the world knows, I don’t care what they see. I don’t care that there’s a camera hidden in this room, recording a very intimate moment I’m sharing with Jace right now.

  Which is why I smile brightly when I straddle him, grinding my hips against him.

  And why I don’t stop him when he slowly begins to lift my shirt even though I’m not wearing anything underneath.

  I’m done hiding how I feel. I’m done denying myself what I want.

  Ed made it perfectly clear last night that this week is the most important one yet. It’s our final chance to make an impression. Our final week to get to know each other and decide if we want to make a lasting connection.

  Or one that only lasts the night.

  I’m pretty sure that’s the direction he was pushing us in. After all, I’m sure the producers were banking on all of us having sex with each other for six weeks.

  Sex sells.

  It makes TV more interesting.

  Which is a big part of why Jace and I were featured last night. Why they spliced images and videos of us together in a way that told a story that was only partially true.

  So this week is all about cozying up.

  I’m calling it our Netflix and Chill week.

  Each of the guys is supposed to pick out a movie for us to watch. Something that sets the mood for the evening. The girls are responsible for providing the snacks.

  With there only being three nights dedicated to dating each other, we also have two group activities. A pool party and another game night. The final day is a free day. We’re allowed to do whatever we want as long as we don’t leave the ranch.

  And that includes stealing horses and riding to the creek.

  Yeah, they included that clause in this week’s packet.

  I’m surprised they didn’t put a gold star and our names next to it.

  Jace thought it was hilarious as we read through everything this afternoon. I didn’t find the humor in it. I don’t like being called out publicly. I certainly don’t appreciate the backhanded slap across the face it felt like I was getting when I read the agreement.

  It stung, more than I care to admit. Even to Jace. I felt like a child being punished.

  “Wh
at kind of movie do you want to watch on date night?” Jace asks as he pulls me into his arms, kissing me on the top of my head.

  I’ve been trying to kick him out for twenty minutes, and he keeps finding excuses to stay. Starting conversations. Kissing me. Pretending to search for his shoes when he knew exactly where they were.

  Under the bed.

  I saw him kick them under there when he was pulling his pants on.

  “You get to pick, remember? I can’t tell you what kind of movie to choose. That would be cheating.”

  “Not really. I don’t plan on watching the movie anyway.” His lips turn upward against my cheek as he confesses his plans for our evening.

  I push him away. “Then you better pick a movie I’ve seen before.”

  “I’ll figure something out between now and then. Promise me one thing, though.”

  “What’s that?” Resting my hands on my hips, I stare up into Jace’s gorgeous green eyes.

  “Don’t wear that yellow bikini to the pool party tomorrow. I don’t want to get in a fight with Milo or Lennon for looking at you. You know, now that the world knows your mine.” He wiggles his eyebrows as he slowly backs out the door, blowing me a kiss before closing it behind him.

  Searching my cupboards for snacks, I come up empty and rush across the way to Bella’s villa. She answers after the first knock, looking as panicked as I feel.

  “I need snacks.”

  “Me too,” she counters, pressing her lips together in frustration. “Are we allowed to raid the pantry in the main house? They have to have food in there.”

  Her question reminds me of the last time I had movie night with Lennon.

  “Follow me,” I state firmly, rushing down the path toward the outdoor kitchen. “You start in here. Grab everything you can think of that will be good for movie night. Get enough for the entire week. I’m going to go see what’s in the game room cupboards. Lennon and I watched a movie in there once, and he had snacks. I guarantee he didn’t bring them with him.”

  Bella nods and starts searching. I head inside the game room and do the same. By the time we meet back up, Bella’s arms are overflowing with all the ingredients for homemade pizza. Mine, on the other hand, have the good stuff. Candy, chips, popcorn, and soda. I even found a few leftover grocery bags to carry everything in.

  We divvy up our score back at my place. We have enough for all three movie nights with plenty left over. Realizing we can’t put it back, we load it up into one of the grocery bags and do what we know is right.

  “What do you want?” Teegan snaps when she sees me standing on her step.

  Don’t be a bitch, Presley. You’re the bigger person.

  “Bella and I raided the kitchens for movie snacks. We thought you might want some.” My voice is flat, void of emotion. I rehearsed what I was going to say on the short walk over knowing just seeing Teegan was going to grate on my nerves.

  When her mouth drops open in shock is when I feel myself slip. My smile makes an appearance. Not because I’m happy she was shocked but because she’s utterly speechless.

  She can’t be a bitch if she’s not talking.

  And since Courtney is gone, she’s all alone.

  Bella is too nice to not talk to her, to not spend time with her. But me? I’m done with her. This is me making a peace offering. It’s a one-time thing. She can take it or leave it. I don’t really care either way.

  Of course she takes it.

  And even says thank you, her head hung in shame.

  Hell, if she’d apologized, I would have been the one with my mouth hanging open.

  With only a few hours before Lennon is going to be here to chill with me, I take the opportunity to spend a little extra time on myself. After curling my hair and reapplying my makeup, I search through my clothes for something comfortable yet cute to wear. Once I’m happy with my selection, I take a long look at myself in the mirror.

  Then I change.

  Because if it were anyone else coming over tonight, this outfit would be fine. But the fact I know Lennon has feelings for me . . . nope. I can’t do it. It would be like leading him on. Teasing him.

  The last thing I want to do is give him the wrong impression.

  Cleavage on display? Nope.

  Curve-hugging skinny jeans? Can’t do it.

  Which made me sad because I looked cute. I’ll remember this combination for another time but not tonight.

  Back in yoga pants and an over-sized T-shirt, I’m removing some of my makeup when Lennon knocks. Catching a glimpse of myself as I walk by the mirror, I shake my head.

  Now I look like either I just crawled out of bed, or I want to crawl in it.

  I really hope he doesn’t get the wrong idea. He can’t possibly think I’m dressed like this because I want more from him. Right?

  I’m overthinking this.

  Guys don’t put much stock in what a girl wears. At least not any guy I’ve ever known. Wren never said much about my outfits.

  Where did that come from? I haven’t thought about him in days. I was enjoying my break from him.

  “Hey.” Lennon looks me up and down once, then twice. Maybe I am giving off a vibe with my outfit. “You look nice.”

  “Thanks, I think. I was going for comfortable since we’re watching a movie and eating junk food, but nice will do.”

  Lennon laughs as he takes a seat on the couch. “You realize your ass looks spectacular in those pants, right? And that the shirt does nothing to hide your tiny waist. I said you look nice, Presley, because I didn’t want to come on too strong. You look amazing. Stunning really. You always do, no matter what you’re wearing.”

  Well, fuck.

  “So what movie are we watching tonight?” I ask, attempting to ignore everything he just said.

  “Well, I know you’re a fan of Ryan Reynolds—”

  “That’s an understatement. Gorgeous, smart, and funny. A combination you can’t beat. Not to mention, have you seen the way he dotes on his wife? That’s real love right there.” I let out a sigh as visions of a shirtless Ryan Reynolds flood my mind.

  “Doesn’t he rip on her on Twitter all the time? Like crop her out of pictures and stuff?”

  “Yes, and it’s hilarious. She does the same to him. They’re freakin’ perfect for each other.”

  “Well, I knew you were a fan and figured you’d seen all his movies, but there was one I hadn’t seen, so that’s what we’re watching tonight.” Lennon logs into his Netflix account and pulls up The Hitman’s Bodyguard.

  “Ooh, you’re going to love it. It’s funny and action-packed. A ton of great one-liners.” I explain, clapping my hands with excitement.

  Lennon makes the popcorn while I grab us candy and soda from today’s haul. We’re settling in on the couch just as there’s a knock at the door. Without waiting for me to answer it, Jace walks in with a pissed-off look on his face, his hands clenched at his sides.

  “Um, everything okay?” I ask, watching him closely from my seat on the couch. Lennon’s tracking Jace’s movements, as well, as he paces back and forth from the front door to the kitchen and back.

  “I can’t do it. I can’t be alone with her. She’s so infuriating.”

  “Teegan?” I whisper to Lennon, and he nods his head in confirmation.

  “Five fucking minutes and she’s trying to sit in my lap. She refuses to take no for an answer.” He’s practically screaming now as he continues to pace.

  I’m at a loss for words. I can’t bring myself to tell him to go back over to her villa. I don’t want him alone with her if she’s going to throw herself at him. Not that I don’t trust Jace. He’s never given me a reason not to.

  Though, if he’s going to stay in the game, he has to play. He has to go back and spend the night with her. Even if it’s only for two hours while they watch a movie. Hopefully on opposite sides of the room.

  Before I can say anything, Claudia is standing in my open doorway calling Jace’s name. They share a look, and then
he’s out the door, closing it behind him.

  “Well, that was interesting,” Lennon says after a few moments of intense silence. I’m still staring at my front door, unable to look away.

  “Something like that. When are you spending time with her?”

  “Not until the end of the week. None of us are looking forward to it, though Milo wasn’t bitching about her the way we were. I have a feeling he wouldn’t kick her out of bed if she threw herself at him. If previous actions are any indication anyway.”

  Gross. I really don’t want to think about Milo and Courtney. Or him and Natasha. Hell, who hasn’t he slept with? Aside from me? Bella? God, I hope she didn’t go there. Especially since he seems like a hit it and quit it kind of guy.

  Lennon starts the movie, but I’m suddenly not in the mood. Not even for Ryan’s sarcasm, which I’ve never not enjoyed. All I can think about is Jace. Is he with Teegan? Are they kicking him out? Did he break some kind of rule we weren’t aware of?

  Anything could be happening right now, and I’m stuck here with Lennon. Someone I should cherish spending time with but can’t even bring myself to look at right now, my eyes locked on the TV.

  Until Lennon drapes his arm over my shoulder.

  That’s when I make the mistake of looking at him.

  And he takes advantage of that, pressing his lips against mine before I realize what’s happening.

  Chapter Two

  Day 31

  I made my decision.

  I didn’t need to think about it.

  Because I let him kiss me. Should I have pushed him away? Yeah, probably, but I didn’t. Not because I wanted to lead Lennon on but because I enjoyed kissing him.